TheDeep State

So I had a serious conversation with my son last night about the Truth Party.

And I’ve noticed something happens when you hit my age.

Your children slowly become your parents.

I’m 69 years old. I’ve survived stage four cancer. I’ve survived bipolar disorder. I’ve survived corporate America for forty years.

And now my son is looking at me like I’m trying to eat paint chips.

He says, “Dad, I’m worried about you.”

And I think, “Oh, that’s sweet.”

Then he says, “I think you may be putting your life in danger.”

I said, “What are you talking about?”

He says, “The system is rigged.”

I said, “Absolutely. We agree.”

He says, “No, Dad. It’s much deeper than that.”

Whenever somebody says “much deeper than that,” your evening is over.

Because now we’re entering a world where every event in human history is connected by red yarn and thumbtacks.

He starts explaining the Deep State.

Now, I’m listening because I’m his father, and fathers have to at least pretend to listen.

He says, “Dad, there are powerful forces operating behind the scenes.”

I said, “Son, I worked in corporate America for forty years. Of course there are powerful forces operating behind the scenes. They’re called vice presidents.”

He says, “No. These people don’t want the truth getting out.”

I said, “Buddy, I posted a three-minute video yesterday. It got fourteen views. I don’t think I’ve exactly pierced the veil of secrecy.”

Can you imagine the Deep State meeting?

“Sir, we have a Level Five threat.”

“My God. Is it China?”

“No, sir.”

“Russia?”

“No, sir.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s a retired grandfather in North Carolina.”

“What makes him so dangerous?”

“He’s started a political party.”

“Oh no.”

“He’s also producing comedy bits.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And he’s releasing original songs.”

“Lock down the Pentagon.”

Apparently somewhere in Washington, there’s a room full of intelligence analysts monitoring my social media.

“Sir, he’s uploaded another Truth Party anthem.”

“What’s this one called?”

“‘Apathy to Activism.’”

“Damn it. He’s evolving.”

The funny part is, I actually started feeling a little flattered.

I mean, think about it.

At 69, after a lifetime of people ignoring me, the idea that a secret global cabal finally noticed me?

That’s kind of a career achievement.

I was like, “Wait a minute. You think I’m important enough to be eliminated?”

That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all year.

Then my son says, “Dad, I’m serious.”

And that’s when I realized he wasn’t talking about politics at all.

He was worried about me.

Which is really strange.

Because for fifty years, I was the one worrying about him.

“Where are you?”

“Who are you with?”

“Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

And now he’s doing it to me.

“Dad, where are you?”

“At home.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yes.”

“Have you posted anything political today?”

“Only six videos.”

And honestly, there’s something kind of beautiful about that.

Because underneath all the politics, all the conspiracy theories, all the arguments about the Deep State, it’s just a son who loves his dad and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Although I did tell him this:

“If the Deep State does get me, promise me one thing.”

He said, “What’s that?”

I said, “Make sure Netflix gets the documentary rights.”

Because if I’m going out, I want a six-part series narrated by somebody British.

‘John Eagleton seemed like an ordinary American grandfather… until he made the fatal mistake of uploading his seventh Truth Party anthem.’

And honestly?

I’d watch that.