So now… America has a new national emergency.
The Reflecting Pool.
Apparently somebody cut a 350-foot gash in it.
Three hundred and fifty feet!
That’s not vandalism anymore.
That’s a civil engineering project.
Who are these people?
The Ocean’s Eleven of decorative water features?
And immediately…
Fence.
Security perimeter.
AI surveillance.
Cameras.
Patrols.
Pretty soon the Reflecting Pool is going to have more protection than Fort Knox.
I love how this country reacts.
We can’t agree on healthcare.
We can’t agree on education.
The roads have potholes the size of Rhode Island.
But somebody whispers,
“Something happened to the Reflecting Pool…”
Congress is like,
“Release the drones!”
They’ve got AI watching the water.
Really?
Artificial intelligence is now guarding… a puddle.
Some poor computer is sitting there twenty-four hours a day going,
“Duck detected.”
“Tourist detected.”
“Squirrel appears suspicious.”
“Leaf entering restricted area.”
Meanwhile the Pentagon’s going,
“Can we borrow some of those cameras?”
The best part is nobody knows exactly what happened.
Maybe there was a gash.
Maybe there wasn’t.
Maybe it was construction.
Maybe it was vandalism.
Maybe somebody dropped their Stanley cup.
Who knows?
But we’ve already spent millions responding to something most Americans couldn’t identify on a map five minutes ago.
That’s modern politics.
We don’t investigate first.
We barricade first.
Then we argue on television.
Then everybody picks a team.
By next week there’ll be Reflecting Pool Republicans…
Reflecting Pool Democrats…
Somebody will start selling “Save the Pool” hats.
Somebody else will sell “The Pool Was Fine” hats.
Cable news will have experts whose entire career is now…
“Reflecting Pool analyst.”
And I’m sitting here thinking…
It’s called the Reflecting Pool.
Maybe we should spend less time protecting it…
…and a little more time reflecting.
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